Disappointed by something/one

"disappointed" it is the word. the word that explane my condition now. disappointed....

couple of weeks ago, i was just normal, happy and curious kid like any other. but now i.... well....... i ..........nah ... ehhhhhhhh... something like that.

i missed sm thing. something that i never expect, something that i didn't care. and something that i didn't know whether it was mine or not, yes creepy. .... but i really missed that. (the THAT thing is not a machine as i always saying :D)

and one other thing. i had to destroy, a sm THING that i helped to build. sm thing that i loved for long time, some thing that i care. some thing that i dreamed ... something that lead me to hundreds of sleepless nights. something thing that bind with my soul.. destroyed , by my own hands..

now here i am with a huge TODO list, but with no courage or clear mind to complete them.here i am DISAPPOINTED, with millions of fucking voices banging inside my head. my surface is OK. but inside.................. its like... I'm not ME..

So now you can see me. at the surface its just me.. but you can't see the OLD guy.inside..yes for sure. I'm not i AM. bTW who cares ??

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yes this whole post is a piece or jerk. i know. i never post this thing at my sinhala blog couz it has hell lot of readers. this post is not for anybody. this is just for me...